[School of Junk] Nasha chhod do

This is Ultimate!!!! 

Ek Cheeta Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek chuha
wahan aaya aur bola
"mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna
khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho"
Cheetay ne ak lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.

Aage ek haathi afeem pi raha tha, chooha phir bola,
"haathi mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere saath bhaago, dekho ye jungle
kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere sath duniya dekho"
Haathi bhi sath dorne laga.

Agay sher whisky peene ki taiyaari kar raha tha, choohe ne usay bhi wohi
kaha.
Sher ne glass side par rakha aur choohe ko 5- 6 thappar maare.

Haathi bola, "are ye to tumhe zindagi ki taraf le ja raha ha, kyon maar
rahay ho is bechare ko ?"

Sher bola, "yeh Kameena pichli baar bhi cocaine pi kar mujhe 3 ghante
jungle mai ghumata raha".

--

Charles de Gaulle  - "The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs."

[School of Junk] new words in the dictionary

Bucknor : (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss;   Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see bucknor
 

 

Not to hurt anyone... especially doctors..

---------------------------------------
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.
So they both gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately tryingto prove their
superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7
tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks ,
one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes
away....


NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct
train
to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till
Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to
PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too
are equal"....All 7
Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket
at all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE
OPPOSITE
ONE..

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors
toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg. Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and
they are heavily fined

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------

SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors
planning their move for last chance, they board the
loc al to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the
same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7
tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their
tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL
train...........

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, don't mess
with Engineers.

IT sholay

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya ".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says: "jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya ."
AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi."

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai." [logout - logout - logout]. "Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!

Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha......

Ha............................

.................


ENJOY

[School of Junk] What is B.E?

What is B.E?



8 semesters are there


80GB syllabus



80MB we study



80KB we remember



80 Bytes we answer



BINARY marks we get,



The Degree finally we get is BE





That is Brain E mpty (B.E)

Tragedy?

Tragedy

George Bush is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY".

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a TRAGEDY."

"No," Bush says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a TRAGEDY."

"I'm afraid not," explains Bush. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room falls silent; none of the other children volunteer.

"What?" asks Bush.

"Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?"

Finally, little Johny raises his hand. In a loud voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying George Bush were blown up by a bomb, that would be a TRAGEDY."

"Wonderful!" Bush beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!"

[PJ] All 5 of us

Solve this when you are a bit relaxed.....!!

A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....


Qn. Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????

Think a little bit ....... Its easy !

Stop scrolling & think .....

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........
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.
ANS:

ARRE BACHCHE HAIN …


KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN …


TU TENSION MAT LE APNA KAAM KAR :-D

About Diet (Informative)

Foods that Heal Apples Protects your heart prevents constipation Blocks diarrhea Improves lung capacity Cushions joints Apricots Combats cancer Controls blood pressure Saves your eyesight Shields against Alzheimer's Slows aging process Artichokes Aids digestion Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Guards against liver disease Avocadoes Battles diabetes Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Bananas Protects your heart Quiets a cough Strengthens bones Controls blood pressure Blocks diarrhea Beans Prevents constipation Helps hemorrhoids Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Stabilizes blood sugar Beets Controls blood pressure Combats cancer Strengthens bones Protects your heart Aids weight loss Blueberries Combats cancer Protects your heart Stabilizes blood sugar Boosts memory Prevents constipation Broccoli Strengthens bones Saves eyesight Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Cabbage Combats cancer Prevents constipation Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Helps hemorrhoids Cantaloupe Saves eyesight Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Supports immune system Carrots Saves eyesight Protects your heart Prevents constipation Combats cancer Promotes weight loss Cauliflower Protects against Prostate Cancer Combats Breast Cancer Strengthens bones Banishes bruises Guards against heart disease Cherries Protects your heart Combats Cancer Ends insomnia Slows aging process Shields against Alzheimer's Chestnuts Promotes weight loss Protects your heart Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure Chili Peppers Aids digestion Soothes sore throat Clears sinuses Combats Cancer Boosts immune system Figs Promotes weight loss Helps stops strokes Lowers cholesterol Combats Cancer Controls blood pressure Fish Protects your heart Boosts memory Protects your heart Combats Cancer Supports immune system Flax Aids digestion Battles diabetes Protects your heart Improves mental health Boosts immune system Garlic Lowers cholesterol Controls blood pressure Combats cancer kills bacteria Fights fungus Grapefruit Protects against heart attacks Promotes Weight loss Helps stops strokes Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol Grapes saves eyesight Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Enhances blood flow Protects your heart Green Tea Combats cancer Protects your heart Helps stops strokes Promotes Weight loss Kills bacteria Honey Heals wounds Aids digestion Guards against ulcers Increases energy Fights allergies Lemons Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy Limes Combats cancer Protects your heart Controls blood pressure Smoothes skin Stops scurvy Mangoes Combats cancer Boosts memory Regulates thyroid aids digestion Shields against Alzheimer's Mushrooms Controls blood pressure Lowers cholesterol Kills bacteria Combats cancer Strengthens bones Oats Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer Battles diabetes prevents constipation Smoothes skin Olive Oil Protects your heart Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Battles diabetes Smoothes skin Onions Reduce risk of heart attack Combats cancer Kills bacteria Lowers cholesterol Fights fungus Oranges Supports immune systems Combats cancer Protects your heart Strengthens respiration Peaches prevents constipation Combats cancer Helps stops strokes aids digestion Helps hemorrhoids Peanuts Protects against heart disease Promotes Weight loss Combats Prostate Cancer Lowers cholesterol Aggravates diverticulitis Pineapple Strengthens bones Relieves colds Aids digestion Dissolves warts Blocks diarrhea Prunes Slows aging process prevents constipation boosts memory Lowers cholesterol Protects against heart disease Rice Protects your heart Battles diabetes Conquers kidney stones Combats cancer Helps stops strokes Strawberries Combats cancer Protects your heart boosts memory Calms stress Sweet Potatoes Saves your eyesight Lifts mood Combats cancer Strengthens bones Tomatoes Protects prostate Combats cancer Lowers cholesterol Protects your heart Walnuts Lowers cholesterol Combats cancer boosts memory Lifts mood Protects against heart disease Water Promotes Weight loss Combats cancer Conquers kidney stones Smoothes skin Watermelon Protects prostate Promotes Weight loss Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes Controls blood pressure Wheat Germ Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol Helps stops strokes improves digestion Wheat Bran Combats Colon Cancer prevents constipation Lowers cholesterol

.

__,_._,___