Online Junk

[School of Junk] Nasha chhod do

2010-02-03T13:20:00.000+05:30

This is Ultimate!!!!

Ek Cheeta Cigarette ka sutta lagane hi wala tha ki achanak ek chuha
wahan aaya aur bola
"mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere sath bhaago, dekho ye jungle kitna
khubsurat hai, aao mere saath duniya dekho"
Cheetay ne ak lamha socha phir choohe ke sath daudhne laga.

Aage ek haathi afeem pi raha tha, chooha phir bola,
"haathi mere bhai chor do nasha, aao mere saath bhaago, dekho ye jungle
kitna khubsurat hai, aao mere sath duniya dekho"
Haathi bhi sath dorne laga.

Agay sher whisky peene ki taiyaari kar raha tha, choohe ne usay bhi wohi
kaha.
Sher ne glass side par rakha aur choohe ko 5- 6 thappar maare.

Haathi bola, "are ye to tumhe zindagi ki taraf le ja raha ha, kyon maar
rahay ho is bechare ko ?"

Sher bola, "yeh Kameena pichli baar bhi cocaine pi kar mujhe 3 ghante
jungle mai ghumata raha".

--

Charles de Gaulle - "The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs."

[School of Junk] new words in the dictionary

2008-01-08T19:55:00.001+05:30

Bucknor : (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.

Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see bucknor

Not to hurt anyone... especially doctors..

2006-10-08T23:39:00.000+05:30

---------------------------------------
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.
So they both gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately tryingto prove their
superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7
tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks ,
one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes
away....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct
train
to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till
Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to
PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too
are equal"....All 7
Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don't buy any ticket
at all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE
OPPOSITE
ONE..

One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors
toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg. Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and
they are heavily fined

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------

SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors
planning their move for last chance, they board the
loc al to Pune.

This time doctors decide that they will play the
same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7
tickets this time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their
tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL
train...........

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, don't mess
with Engineers.

IT sholay

2006-10-08T23:36:00.000+05:30

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya ".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai."

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says: "jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya ."
AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar milegi."

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai." [logout - logout - logout]. "Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar!

Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha...... Ha......

Ha............................

.................

ENJOY

[School of Junk] What is B.E?

2006-10-05T15:34:00.000+05:30

What is B.E?

8 semesters are there

80GB syllabus

80MB we study

80KB we remember

80 Bytes we answer

BINARY marks we get,

The Degree finally we get is BE

That is Brain E mpty (B.E)

Tragedy?

2006-10-05T14:42:00.000+05:30

Tragedy

George Bush is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY".

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a TRAGEDY."

"No," Bush says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a TRAGEDY."

"I'm afraid not," explains Bush. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room falls silent; none of the other children volunteer.

"What?" asks Bush.

"Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?"

Finally, little Johny raises his hand. In a loud voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying George Bush were blown up by a bomb, that would be a TRAGEDY."

"Wonderful!" Bush beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!"

[PJ] All 5 of us

2006-10-05T14:34:00.000+05:30

Solve this when you are a bit relaxed.....!!

A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a busy highway.
After great efforts they all managed to cross it. One of the little ones yells out happily-"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us managed to cross"....

Qn. Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????

Think a little bit ....... Its easy !

Stop scrolling & think .....

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANS........
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ANS:

ARRE BACHCHE HAIN …

KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN …

TU TENSION MAT LE APNA KAAM KAR :-D

About Diet (Informative)

2006-09-27T10:00:00.000+05:30

Foods that Heal

Apples	Protects your heart	prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
Apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
Artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
Avocadoes	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin
Bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
Beans	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
Blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
Broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
Cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system
Carrots	Saves eyesight	Protects your heart	Prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower	Protects against Prostate Cancer	Combats Breast Cancer	Strengthens bones	Banishes bruises	Guards against heart disease
Cherries	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Ends insomnia	Slows aging process	Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Chili Peppers	Aids digestion	Soothes sore throat	Clears sinuses	Combats Cancer	Boosts immune system
Figs	Promotes weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Lowers cholesterol	Combats Cancer	Controls blood pressure
Fish	Protects your heart	Boosts memory	Protects your heart	Combats Cancer	Supports immune system
Flax	Aids digestion	Battles diabetes	Protects your heart	Improves mental health	Boosts immune system
Garlic	Lowers cholesterol	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	kills bacteria	Fights fungus
Grapefruit	Protects against heart attacks	Promotes Weight loss	Helps stops strokes	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol
Grapes	saves eyesight	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Enhances blood flow	Protects your heart
Green Tea	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Helps stops strokes	Promotes Weight loss	Kills bacteria
Honey	Heals wounds	Aids digestion	Guards against ulcers	Increases energy	Fights allergies
Lemons	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Limes	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure	Smoothes skin	Stops scurvy
Mangoes	Combats cancer	Boosts memory	Regulates thyroid	aids digestion	Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Kills bacteria	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Oats	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	prevents constipation	Smoothes skin
Olive Oil	Protects your heart	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Battles diabetes	Smoothes skin
Onions	Reduce risk of heart attack	Combats cancer	Kills bacteria	Lowers cholesterol	Fights fungus
Oranges	Supports immune systems	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Strengthens respiration
Peaches	prevents constipation	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes	aids digestion	Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts	Protects against heart disease	Promotes Weight loss	Combats Prostate Cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Aggravates diverticulitis
Pineapple	Strengthens bones	Relieves colds	Aids digestion	Dissolves warts	Blocks diarrhea
Prunes	Slows aging process	prevents constipation	boosts memory	Lowers cholesterol	Protects against heart disease
Rice	Protects your heart	Battles diabetes	Conquers kidney stones	Combats cancer	Helps stops strokes
Strawberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	boosts memory	Calms stress
Sweet Potatoes	Saves your eyesight	Lifts mood	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones
Tomatoes	Protects prostate	Combats cancer	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart
Walnuts	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	boosts memory	Lifts mood	Protects against heart disease
Water	Promotes Weight loss	Combats cancer	Conquers kidney stones	Smoothes skin
Watermelon	Protects prostate	Promotes Weight loss	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure
Wheat Germ	Combats Colon Cancer	prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	improves digestion
Wheat Bran	Combats Colon Cancer	prevents constipation	Lowers cholesterol

__,_._,___

[School of Junk] Another bunch of Pjs

2006-09-19T20:23:00.000+05:30

1. paani ka popat kaise karne ka?? (how do you make a fool of water?)
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socho...
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socho..
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Answer - PAANI GARAM KARNE KA.... LEKIN NAHANE KA NAHI!!!!! ;-)

2. if emraan hashmi is serial kisser who is parallel kisser.....

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Answer - RAVAN

3 . Once in a village..... one zamindaar asked his servent 2 get vegetables and
all that stuff from the city market. He gave him a 100 rupee note.n said" mujhe saara ka saara hisaab chahiye...."

servent went 2 the city n the zamindaar started waiting 4 him eagerly.

after 5 long hours servant came wth lots of vegetables..... and he gave the details in following manner
2*(22/7) ka baingan
5*(22/7) ke aaaloo
8*(22/7) ke tamatur....
.......like that only........
but the question arisis wat exactly the servant was trying 2 do.........
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bahut bahyankar hai.

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socho

ok

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ok

mai batata hun..........

Answer - WO USSE PIE PIE KA HISAAAAB DE RAHA THAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!3

4 . there was a tiger living in a jungle surrounding a town.Everybody was afraid of him but he didn't wanted to harm anyone.Once he starts roaming in town and all frightened people run here and there and get to their houses.Angry tiger locks everybody's house from outside.

How will u describe this in one word ??

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Answer - SHER-LOCK-HOMES

5 . After locking everybody in their homes tiger sits on a stone. How will you describe it?????
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thak gaye???

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Answer - SHER-ON-STONE

6 . 2 lovers are sitting in a staircase (jina in marathi), looking into one
anothers eyes; suddenly they reach the sahara desert. Why ?????????
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Answer - b'cos
"ANKHON HI ANKHON MEIN ISHARA HO GAYA BAITHE BAITHE JINE KA SAHARA HO GAYA"

7 . what's this-

-

O

Answer - HANGING AROUND (A ROUND)

8 . a man has two peepal trees outside his bungalow.he ties a rope to join them.so what does he have?
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Answer - NOKIA - Connecting "PEEPAL"

9 . The ant and the elephant were going by a road. The elephant signaled a bus to stop but it didnt stop.After going some distance teh ant now signaled a bus..but this time the bus stopped...why?

think...

think...

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Answer - THE PLACE WHERE TEH ELEPHANT SIGNALLED WAS NOT A BUS STOP, BUT THE PLACE WHERE TEH ANT SIGNALLED WAS A BUS STOP

లక్షలు పలికిన లడ్డూలు

2006-09-07T16:15:00.000+05:30

source: eenadu.net

లక్షలు పలికిన లడ్డూలు

హైదరాబాద్‌, రంగారెడ్డిజిల్లా, న్యూస్‌టుడే: హైదరాబాద్‌ శివారు, రంగారెడ్డి జిల్లాల్లో భూముల ధరలకు తగ్గట్టుగానే వినాయక లడ్డూల ఖరీదూ ఆకాశాన్నంటింది. బుధవారం ఓ లడ్డూ ధర రూ.9.09 లక్షలు పలికింది. వినాయక ఉత్సవాల ముగింపు సందర్భంగా ఏటా ఈ జిల్లాల్లో వినాయకుని లడ్డూలను వేలం వేయడం పరిపాటి. ఈసారి వేలం పాటలో పాత రికార్డులన్నీ బద్దలైపోయాయి. గత ఏడాది వరకు ఇక్కడి చార్మినార్‌ సమీపంలోని బాలాపూరు వినాయకుడి లడ్డూనే అధిక ధర పలుకుతుండేది. ఈ ఏడాది ఆ లడ్డూని కేవలం రూ.3లక్షలకే పాడారు.అదే రంగారెడ్డి జిల్లా మహేశ్వరం మండలం పెండ్యాలలో గణేశుని లడ్డూ అత్యధికంగా రూ.9.09 లక్షలు పలికింది. జె.హన్మంతరెడ్డి దీన్ని దక్కించుకున్నారు. ఇదే మండలం తుమ్మలూరులో లడ్డూను రూ.9.01 లక్షలకు... గ్రామానికి చెందిన జడ్పీ మాజీ ఉపాధ్యక్షుడు ఆమనగంటి నర్సిరెడ్డి సొంతం చేసుకున్నారు. మహేశ్వరంలో ఏర్పాటుచేసిన గణేశుని పూజా లడ్డూని జల్‌పల్లి సర్పంచు ఎస్‌.కృష్ణారెడ్డి రూ.7.22 లక్షలకు దక్కించుకున్నారు. చేవెళ్ల మండలం కమ్మెటలో లడ్డూ ధర 5.11 లక్షలకు పలికింది. సరూర్‌నగర్‌ మండలం బడుంగ్‌పేటలో రూ.6.25 లక్షలు, ఇదే మండలంలోని జిల్లెలగూడలో రూ.2.55 లక్షలకు గణేశ్‌ లడ్డూలు పలికాయి. యాచారంలో ఈసారి ఒక మైనారిటీ సోదరుడు రూ.13వేలకు వినాయకుని లడ్డూని సొంతచేసుకోవడం విశేషం. వీటిని కొనుగోలు చేస్తే మంచి జరుగుతుందనే ఉద్దేశంతోనే తాము అధిక ధర చెల్లించేందుకు ముందుకొచ్చామని వేలంలో లడ్డూలు దక్కించుకున్న వారు చెబుతున్నారు.

[School of Junk] Awesome puzzle

2006-09-07T14:07:00.000+05:30

Its just a PJ

:::::::::::: ::::::::: :::PUZZLE: ??::::::::: ::::::::: ::::

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board

the bus,

but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died

on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station,
who

in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital
punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in
the

center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.
The

conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given
to

him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set
him

free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good lo! oking middle aged woman

tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately,

this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus
and

died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn

took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave
him

capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same
electrocution

chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and

a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the

chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to

everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free,
and he

returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the

bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences,

stopped

the b! us. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to
his

injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to

the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but

considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and

gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was again taken to the
same

electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center

of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was

strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This
time

he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died

instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is

perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

! Still you couldn't, Then see below....... ..

think hard

common yaar........ ..... Now if I say its not puzzle, its a PJ .. think for answer :P

tired....

wanna know the answer????

ok........ there is the Answer...... ......

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor ,

therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he

was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died

!!!!!!!!

Ha Ha Ha ha!!!!!!!! Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter

on Electricity???

[Promo] Free download manager

2006-09-03T23:56:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

check out http://www.freedownloadmanager.org/buzz.html

I find it better than flashget.

-Raj

[School of Junk] THE DA MACHI CODE - A Pongal 2007 release - INDIAN THRILLER STORY BELOW ...

2006-09-02T07:54:00.000+05:30

Here goes the story…

Robert Lingam I.P.S (Vijayakanth) visits Madurai to deliver a lecture in college about public safety. The head pujari of Meenakshi temple is murdered. He was stabbed to death, but before dying he lies down in the robotic break dance position next to a shiva lingam, the message clearly being "call robert lingam". He had also smashed the breasts of a goddess statue and hung a bell with a chain from her hip. Also clutched in his hand is the Congress party manifesto with the 49% reservation for OBCs underlined with his blood.

Pujari's grand daughter Mahalakshmi (Sneha) had just returned from USA with a degree in cryptology, symbology, singing and group-dance. She cuts short her weekend trip to Chennai and returns to Madurai upon the murder.

She meets Commissioner Lingam at the murder site and together embarkto solve the murder and in the process "witness the biggest cover up in Hindu history". "My 'Thaatha' used to insist that me and my brother play hide and seek inside the temple", said Mahalakshmi.

"Why the congress manifesto? Why the underlining on the reservation part? Was your thaatha going to lose his job as head-priest to an OBC candidate?",puzzled look on Lingam's face with knit eyebrows."Thaatha always said reservation was plain bull shit"

"What?"

"Bull shit - very rarely he used english but whenever this topic used tocome up, he wud use that term"Lingam's eyes lit up. "That's the clue...yes, bull shit, oh Rama how did i miss that", excited he clutches Mahalakshmi's wrist as they bolt out of the murder scene. "Where is the biggest Nandi bull statue in this temple complex?"

"by the east gate"

"Let's go".................

Lingam put his hand into the orifice which was the asshole of the Nandi bull statue. His fingers felt the cold touch of an ancient palm leaf. Pulling it out Lingam attempted to read under the flickering light of the solitary lamp post nearby.neatly written in outdated tamil script were the lines,

"Kai Anchu, Vaai Nooru Periya bookukule oru chinna book"
"Ah", Lingam sighed.
"What does it mean?"
"I have heard both these lines before...but in a very different context"
Lingam looked skywards for some divine intervention to help him solve this new clue. Towering into the skyline in front of him as dawn was breaking,was the tall gopuram of the temple. Quickly turning around, a smile danced on Lingam's lips as his sight fell on all the five towers. "The five towers, phallic symbols...the five Pandava brothers, We need to get to a library,I need to see the original copy of the Kama sutra", "this early in the morning?" asked Mahalakshmi as they hurried towards Lingam's jeep.

As they jeep hurtled towards the town library, Lingam explained, " Few temples in India are famous for their erotic art and architecture.
The kings built those to encourage population growth. For centuries, there has been rumours of a secret society that guarded a secret behind such art and symbols, a secret so powerful that if revealed would shake the very foundations of conservative culture."

COMING SOON TO A SCREEN NEAR YOU....

WITNESS THE GREATEST COVER UP IN HINDU HISTORY A SECRET SO DEVASTATING THAT IF REVEALED COULD LEAD TO EVEN MORE CATACLISMIC POPULATION EXPLOSION..... WAS THE MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE OF INDIAN LITERATURE ORIGINALLY PART OF THE GREATEST EPIC POEM EVER WRITTEN? WERE THE MEN AND WOMEN OF THE KAMASUTRA THE SAME GODS AND GODDESSES GLORIFIED IN ANCIENT TEXTS?
CONTINUING WITH THE MODERN INDIAN TRADITION OF BLATANTLY APING THE WEST....

A.M.RATNAM PRESENTS

CAPTAIN in

THE DA MACHI CODE
'SO CORNY A DARK MAN'

PONGAL 2007

Also read "Da Vinci Da Gupt Katha" by GreatBong

http://greatbong.net/2006/05/26/da-vinci-da-gupt-katha/

good one..

2006-08-31T00:13:00.000+05:30

The boss of a big company who needed to call one of his employees about
an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's
home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your
mommy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a
helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just
landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss
asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "ME"

Mobile phones - Retail Cost in India

2006-08-31T00:11:00.000+05:30

Following are the sites where you can find the market cost of a mobile phone in india (with bill & warranty)

http://www.univercell.in/compare1.asp?mno=17&mno=112&mno=136
http://www.indiagsm.com/

bakwaas!

2006-08-31T00:09:00.000+05:30

actually last one is based on an Interesting Isaac Asimov's article. Its
bit long but interesting:

"What is intelligence, anyway? When I was in the army, I received the
kind of aptitude test that all soldiers took and, against a normal of
100, scored 160. No one at the base had ever seen a figure like that,
and for two hours they made a big fuss over me. (It didn't mean
anything. The next day I was still a buck private with KP - kitchen
police - as my highest duty.)

All my life I've been registering scores like that, so that I have the
complacent feeling that I'm highly intelligent, and I expect other
people to think so, too. Actually, though, don't such scores simply mean
that I am very good at answering the type of academic questions that are
considered worthy of answers by people who make up the intelligence
tests--people with intellectual bents similar to mine?

For instance, I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence
tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I
always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was.
Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it,
watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his
pronouncements as though they were divine oracles--and he always fixed
my car.

Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an
intelligence test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed,
almost anyone but an academician. By every one of those tests, I'd prove
myself a moron. And, I'd be a moron, too. In a world where I could not
use my academic training and my verbal talents but had to do something
intricate or hard, working with my hands, I would do poorly. My
intelligence, then, is not absolute but is a function of the society I
live in and of the fact that a small subsection of that society has
managed to foist itself on the rest as an arbiter of such matters.

Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes
whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the
automobile hood to say: "Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware
store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter
and made hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a
hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was
hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he
wanted, and left. Well, Doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man.
He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?"

Indulgently, I lifted my right hand and made scissoring motions with my
first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and
said, "Why, you dumb jerk, he used his voice and asked for them." Then
he said smugly, "I've been trying that on all my customers today." "Did
you catch many? I asked. "Quite a few," he said, "but I knew for sure
I'd catch you." "Why is that?" I asked. "Because you're so goddamned
educated, Doc, I knew you couldn't be very smart."

And I have an uneasy feeling he had something there."

Pankaj Maurya wrote:
QUESTIONS FOR ONLY INTELLIGENTS

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them
instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are.

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What
position are you in? (SCROLL DOWN)

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his
place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the
first question.

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?(SCROLL DOWN)

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong
again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.

Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another
1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.

Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your
day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.

What is the name of the fifth daughter? (SCROLL DOWN)

'''''''''''''''

Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round.

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

[School of Junk] Employee of the Year

2006-08-26T18:38:00.000+05:30

Jokes 4m MunnaBhai_II

2006-08-26T18:29:00.000+05:30

PROFESSOR
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI
Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

CIRCUIT
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI
Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT
Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

MAMU
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

MAMU
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI
Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU
Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.

PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN
What is this?
CIRCUIT
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN
What is this?
CIRCUIT
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN
What is that?
CIRCUIT
Air India

CIRCUIT
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI
Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?

MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

CIRCUIT
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI

Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

superb illusion

2006-08-26T18:27:00.000+05:30

Good Optical Illusion

http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/col_rapidAfterimage/index.html

p.s. magenta+grey=green??

[School of Junk] joke

2006-08-26T17:54:00.000+05:30

once himesh reshammiya's father in law went to visit him
he knocked on the door
himesh: kaun hai?
father in law: OHHHHH TERA TERA TERA SASURRRRRRRR

First Post

2006-08-26T17:38:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

In this blog i'll publish junk forwards that i recieve on email, etc... By publishing this stuff I dont intend to hurt anyone. Any reasonable objections to the posts will be removed.

-Rajesh